WHY LOVE LANGUAGES WORK

Pallavi Pinakin explains the merits of mastering the five love languages

In his book titled The Five Love Languages, author Gary Chapman explores the premise that each of us has a primary ‘love language’ that affects ways in which we perceive and value expressions of love.

Building on this concept, good leaders can employ multiple love langua­ges to better connect with, understand and empower their teams.

Developing this type of calibrated approach isn’t easy; but when it’s used effectively, the act of interacting with team members in their primary love language can work wonders. While maximising a sense of belonging, this style of leade­rship also boosts workplace engagement and professional satisfaction.

Pay close attention to your employees’ preferred style of interaction, words they use, their behavioural traits and modes of communication to which they best respond. This will enable you to figure out which of the five ‘love languages of leader­ship’ will best resonate with them…

AFFIRMATION Those whose primary love language is affirmation thrive on recognition and praise. Positive feedback goes a long way with people who like to feel valued. Thanking them and making sure they feel appreciated will increase their impact at work.

So highlight their successes and give them due credit by sing­ling them out for their triumphs. If they’re struggling or feeling dejected, remind them of their past achievements or why you hired them in the first place.

Conversely, this approach is also sensitive and bruises easily. Harsh words will only stress and overwhelm them – and make them unfocussed and unproductive. Deliver any criticism as constructively and empathetically as possible – a heavy-handed approach is likely to backfire.

DEVELOPMENT While some people are content with occupying a comfortable position for a long period, others have a strong desire to progress and evolve professionally.

These employees have deve­lop­ment as their key love langu­age. Feeling like they’re on an upward trajectory in their careers is what gives them a sense of self-worth and keeps them motivated.

It’s never too early to broach the topic of career growth with this kind of employee. In fact, defining a clear-cut development path during the hiring process will be a great way to inspire them to come on board!

To foster allegiance and boost morale, nominate these team members for learning program­mes or paid training that will help them advance. It’s also important to offer them some­thing to aspire to – and make them aware of the next oppor­tunity within the company. Then their productivity will know no bounds.

SUPPORT Certain people flour­ish when they’re offered steady guidance and support by their managers. Examples include helping them to complete a task in a moment of need, offering to review a job already done or simply bringing them coffee before a looming deadline as a quiet nod of encouragement.

Show them that you are on their side and willing to do what it takes to help them succeed – even if it means getting down in the trenches with them.

Leaders who perform unselfish acts of service without expecting the favours to be repaid prove that they consider their team members as equals. These em­ployees value hard work and accountability, and make for great additions to your team.

REWARDS The fourth love language is financial rewards – or money. Monetary compensa­tion is high on the list for most people; it ranks first for those who speak this language fluently. Annual salary reviews are a must for such people so as to ensure their wages are in line with their expectations.

If this isn’t the case, it’s important to outline how they can improve their performance in order to gain an increment.

Offering bonuses is another great way to generate excite­ment and inspire team members to work harder. Having well-defined and achievable financial rewards to work towards are essential for their professional satisfaction.

MAKING TIME Finally, there’s time on the list of leadership love languages. There are two ways to bond with an employee whose primary love language is time.

Firstly, build a social connec­tion. Routine catch ups over coffee or tea make for a perfect opportunity to ask team members about their family and interests outside work, listen to their problems and show compassion.

In short, demonstrate that you care for them as people and don’t see them as another cog in the wheel.

Secondly, make sure you allocate one-on-one time in the workplace as well. Try to remain undistracted during such meet­ings. Don’t multitask or check emails while they’re presenting –offer your undivided attention in order to boost their self-esteem.

The more quality time you spend with such employees, the more motivated they’ll be to invest their own time with you and the organisation.