There are four ways that your brain is hardwired to process any negative thoughts – Merilee Kern

We’re all wired to want to grow to be the best version of ourselves. There are many components involved in moving your life forward. Growing towards our goals is much like driving a car. There are seemingly infinite moving parts involved in keeping your vehicle on the road.

Well, negative thought patterns are like the pesky ‘check engine’ light that alerts you to a problem but doesn’t help you to fix it. You don’t notice it or try to ignore the light – until the car sputters or stalls.

We readily accept that we can’t drive a car without oil or petrol, or even a driver’s licence, registration and insurance. It’s the same when we expect something from ourselves that doesn’t exist or we undervalue the truth that we know about ourselves. When we disconnect and begin sputtering through life, we impede the ability to achieve our goals.

It’s not always easy to pinpoint why we feel disconnected. But there is a solution if you’re willing to do the work. There’s a proven way to create meaningful, lasting, transformative change – and it starts with resolving unresolved childhood memories, unlearning early learning patterns, and reprogramming the thinking and behaviour we’ve picked up along the road of life…

As children, we are told bedtime stories of people performing great feats of supernatural strength, knights in shining armour riding on horseback, pumpkins turning into carriages and talking frogs. These are stories of good against evil to remind us about the rewards of beneficial behaviour. We tell such stories to make sense of the world.

Since there is no escape from life’s negative or painful experiences, we form certain curious beliefs about ourselves to help understand what’s happening around us and how to have our needs met.

So much of what happens in our early years is unconscious and involuntary; and as humans, we have developed a set of survival skills to fill in the gaps that our parents or primary caregivers couldn’t or didn’t explain to us.

“The soul is a recorder of all memories,” says transformational guide Jaime Haas. She has developed a proven method to silence the inner critical voice so that you can finally break free of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs.

She explains: “The subconscious mind holds onto messages that were given to you as a child, which you not only held on to but created a belief system that you shaped your life around to make sense of the world.”

According to Haas, much of our early learning patterns are layered with assumptions and messages that have been reinforced over time.

She elaborates: “The key to personal growth is to stop placing our wellbeing on external factors and deal with the core wounds that inform our limiting, negative, fear-based beliefs. It’s critical to find the painful, harmful thought patterns and behaviours, from years of programming and painful experiences.”

“It’s in the process of identifying exactly what you are thinking and doing, and deciding to take action, that the greatest change and healing starts to happen in your life,” Haas affirms.

Each of us is presented with invitations to keep growing. The battle is if we choose to accept them. We are constantly being presented with situations that we don’t want, or will not help us to feel good or whole. And we either turn it against ourselves or others, or awaken to the opportunity to change.

Anxiety and fear of the unknown are manifestations of the way we are hardwired to perpetuate the ‘task and reward’ system, which we learned as children. We want to make someone else the bad guy… or at least the reason for our discontent, or worse – so we turn on ourselves and create more problems.

The bottom line is that since we are uncomfortable with the silence, which accompanies reflection that leads to change, we don’t take the brave and solitary journey inward.

Growth – or the great transformation – happens when the desire to change becomes greater than the fear of it. In other words, it’s when you are so uncomfortable and unhappy with the way things are or trending that the fear of change no longer has a grip on you. You’re willing to do what it takes to make the necessary changes – even if you don’t know what to do first.

According to Haas, there are at least four reasons why you can’t stop thinking negative thoughts about who you are, your ability to get what you want out of life and how capable you are at achieving your goals.

Her proven approach is like taking your car through a multi-point inspection. You’ll need to address all the reasons why you are trapped by your negative thoughts.

“We know we have to do more than buy shiny new hubcaps or get a fresh paint job, or go through the car wash to keep a vehicle running safely on the road towards a destination,” she explains. And Haas adds: “We also know these actions don’t fix the car and they certainly can’t help get you to your desired destination.”

It’s important to address all four reasons – because if you arbitrarily eliminate one or two, you won’t have the scaffolding to support your new framework. One or more of the old habits will creep back into your thoughts, conversations and behaviour.

As Haas says: “These four reasons are only the tip of the iceberg. But the things you learn when you address them become the building blocks to achieving the quality of life you desire.”

(To be continued in a later issue.)