A HELPING HAND

Parental guidance during study sessions at home

BY Goolbai Gunasekara

‘Have you done your homework?’ These are probably the five most unpopular words in children’s ears. It’s the rare child who is self-motivated enough to sit down and complete that daily and annoying task without being reminded.

And parents do not stop with just one reminder. They can continue quite happily nagging for hours.

Each mother has her own method of getting that homework done. Perhaps it is by issuing dire threats. Perhaps it is by bribery and cajolery. Perhaps it is by sheer force of authority. Or perhaps it can be done the way my mother did it – through suggestion and tactful timing.

But then, she was an educationist and a school principal of note, and obviously had some tricks up her sleeve. I only recognised them as ‘tricks’ when I became an adult and was placed in the same situation vis-à-vis my own offspring’s homework.

So what was Mother’s modus operandi and how did she act?

Her first assumption was that no child liked to study alone. Accordingly, she gave me company. She would settle herself with her own schoolwork at the dining-room table, which was bigger than her own desk and had room for my books too.

“Have you given any thought to your essay tomorrow?” she would ask.

“Er, no.”

“Personally, I think it’s a rather boring topic but then conserving air and water is important, isn’t it?”

“But dull.”

“Well, here’s an interesting fact. Did you ever think that because of the miracle of recycling, the water you bathe in today may have been used by Jesus centuries ago?”

I perked up.

“The world’s supply of air and water remains constant. It’s neither added to nor subtracted from.”

My essay suddenly became interesting. I managed a good grade when my marks came in later.

Not all parents can be innovative but they can be there. Even after the child has reached the stage where parental aid is not needed to study, parental company will always be welcome.

Here is a way one clever parent told me she got her children to study. Of course, it took up some time but was worth it.

Her offspring settled down at 6 p.m. She sat with them, and did her reading, sewing, knitting and so on for an hour. The children were given a cocoa break for 10 minutes after which they continued till homework and studying was done. This could be till 7 or even 8 p.m.

When the children had reached the public exam classes, they were well inducted into study habits and barely needed maternal overseeing.

My mother never asked to see my exercise books unless I so desired. Is there any child who so desires unless she has scored 9/10 for her work?

So Mother rarely got to see my work in school but she made sure that while I was sitting at the dining-room table, I was finishing the written work and studying whatever was needed.

Here too she used tact if not downright guile.

“Has Miss Cockburn (my bioscience teacher at the time) got to the reproductive system in your hygiene text yet?”

“My goodness, no! We were told to staple the pages of that chapter together and never look at them. She is so old-fashioned.”

“So what did you do today?”

“The digestive system.”

“Hmm… Interesting! Explain it to me.”

I did. And when I had finished telling Mother how her insides worked, I was prepared for the short test the next day.

Mother had many approaches to various subjects and my homework got done fairly painlessly. If a child has to explain her work to a parent, she learns it easily along the way.

Eventually, I managed to get my homework done without needing Mother’s presence to motivate me. I now realise it was her method of getting me to find my homework interesting, and I’m grateful beyond measure.

These are some hints for modern parents. Time is hard to find these days but what I remember most about my own studying days was the 10 minute cocoa break in which my sister and I gossiped with Mother, and enjoyed a closeness not always possible during the rushed programme of schooldays.

I am aware that in these hectic times, parents have no time to be trotting out inspiring little bits of information; but they can sit with their children while they study. Believe me, such methods work.

And what do parents get out of it all?

Apart from the satisfaction of seeing her children get good grades, a mother can get a lot of work done by simply sitting still while her kids study.

If nothing springs to mind, may I suggest taking up a hobby. An academic friend of mine has become an expert at cross-stitch after sitting for those five formative years with her two sons. It is a hobby she continues into old age.