BREAKING BARRIERS

How to overcome those self-imposed limitations

BY Archana Law

You must have heard people say the only limits one has are the ones we place on ourselves! While the saying is motivational, it will continue to remain only a whole lot of inspiring words until we really understand our own limits.

We seldom realise that everything that’s going on in our minds – each thought, feeling and sensation – is happening only in our private internal world. Though we all live in the same physical world, our internal worlds are like separate theatres showing entirely different movies.

Yet, we behave as if we’re in the same audience watching the same movie – called ‘life.’

What we’re personally experiencing in our internal world isn’t necessarily real. Our thoughts are real but they don’t exist outside our consciousness. Neither are they solid like trees or rocks that exist outside us in some tangible way.

Then why do we so often base our future upon other people’s past setbacks and failures?

We consider ourselves unique individuals and exceptions in a crowd; and yet, we don’t believe that we’re special enough to challenge and overcome statistics. Therefore, instead of trying, we don’t even attempt to do what our hearts tell us to do.


Thanks to this mindset, we put up incredible barriers the very minute we begin categorising ourselves. We create constricting stereotypes such as ‘if someone has had a rough childhood, they are bound to be depressed as an adult’ or ‘even though a person may love writing, it’s impossible to find work in that field.’

It’s easy to burden yourself with the perception that you can’t do something or aren’t good enough. In fact, these perceptions can trap you in a false reality – one in which you start believing these self-imposed limits.

We often don’t realise our true strength or potential until we’re forced to use it. This means that our thinking is our greatest barrier to a successful and fulfilling life.

Being bombarded by statements about how things are in the real world causes us to doubt ourselves and downplay our dreams. It leaves us in a state of wishing for more and envying those who are fortunate to have gone farther than we have.

This sense of doubt can apply to anything such as discovering our passion, losing weight, being healthy or pursuing a dream job. However, the good news is that it’s possible to break free and venture beyond these limits, and reach even farther.

Recently, I had the pleasure of working with a young athlete over a few months. The most rewarding part of this relationship was helping him to release himself from his self-imposed limitations by taking four steps to breaking the barriers that were affecting his progress.

ASSESS Question the limitation – who is setting the expectations and what’s going on? When you accept that the limits are being set from within, you can bring the issues out into the open and address them. In this case, the athlete had talked himself into a false reality that he wasn’t good enough. Once he recognised this, it was easier for him to formulate an action plan.

STABILISE List your successes. Noting the times you’ve been great or successful at something will help your brain to change gears. It doesn’t have to be in the same field and can include any time in your life where you’ve done well. Recalling past successes helped the athlete by instilling a sense of achievement in him and shifted his mindset to acknowledge that he is good enough.

PROGRESS Change plans proactively. A common mistake many make is staying in survival mode for too long. So look for things that you can control and identify the steps you must take regardless of how large or small they may be.

In the case of the athlete, this began with a very basic regular practice of creating a routine and he soon began to realise that the real situation wasn’t at all like his perceived limitations. The feedback was wonderful and he was indeed good enough. From thereon, the plan expanded to include additional complex activities.

While working together, the seemingly unsurpassable barrier of self-limitations were destroyed. All it took was some strategic redirection and a little time.

EVOLVE Once you have taken control of your problem, business or situation, look at the lessons learnt and consider what they mean for your longer term plans and strategies.

These stages aren’t mutually exclusive; they are more likely to be sequenced. It’s like learning to juggle, adding one ball at a time as you become more confident of your progress. While considering your future, you’re still keeping an eye on the past to ensure that you continue to build on a firm base – because you can’t afford to drop the ball.

It goes without saying that our future is ours to create. All it takes to get there is a little faith in ourselves!