IT’S TIME TO SAY ‘YES!’

Archana Law says ‘yes’ to make the most of life!

As life limps back to normalcy in the aftermath of the festivities, will you and I feel like we have lived the past year to its fullest potential? Or are there any regrets? Many people will feel some pangs of regret in hindsight.

So is this year also likely to be one lived on autopilot; one in which we simply exist, go through the motions and stumble through life like zombies? Or is it time to live?

After all, “saying ‘yes’ to life in spite of everything” (to borrow a phrase from a famous book), presupposes that life is potentially meaningful under any conditions including the most miserable.

Among the few things that have touched my life in a profound way is Jewish psychiatrist Victor Frankl’s book titled Man’s Search for Meaning. This detainee under German national socialism at its worst recounts his grim experiences in Nazi concentration camps – including Auschwitz where his parents, brother and pregnant wife perished.

Frankl realised that although we can’t avoid suffering, we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in and through it, and move forward with renewed vigour despite the suffering. By saying ‘yes’ to life in spite of everything, he demonstrated how to go about finding precisely such meaning.

Here are some thoughts that could change your life when you say ‘yes!’

LOWER THE BAR Trying to be perfect sets the bar too high and since it’s usually impossible to reach, it only serves to lower one’s self-esteem. So be yourself without trying to change for the sake of others or censoring yourself when things aren’t right. Spend more time with people who support your dreams and value you, and less with your critics.

BE ENERGISED Do the things that make you come alive. It’s important to find some time and energy to do the things you really enjoy such as activities that are genuinely energising. Try something new each week, even if it’s small. Reconnect with a long forgotten hobby or reach out to a friend you’ve lost touch with.

BE OPTIMISTIC Pessimism can place limits on our lives and bring us to a standstill. What’s worse is that it makes us feel there’s no point in trying. It can create glass ceilings and walls where there aren’t any.

Instead, when you’re in what seems like a negative situation, try reframing the circumstances and ask yourself questions that highlight opportunities, focus on what you can do to bring about a change or simply seek positive company.

STAY TUNED IN Watch your thoughts and self-talk. It’s difficult to maintain high levels of motivation and self-esteem when your inner critic is one of the main obstacles. When you make mistakes, fail or face criticism, that small inner voice can sometimes get louder and drag you down.

You can neutralise that voice by creating a word in your mind that you silently repeat or chant whenever your inner critic pipes up with a distorted and damaging thought. Count your blessings and feel happy with your achievements so far for an instant mood boost.

BE FORGIVING Forgive and don’t cling to the past or the hurt that’s within you. Letting go and looking beyond is a prerequisite to finding more happiness in life. Forgiveness isn’t always easy and can take time; but remind yourself that you forgive for your own benefit.

As long as we deny forgiveness, we’re linked to the person who wronged us as our thoughts keep returning to the perpetrator of that injustice over and over again. When you forgive, you not only release the other person but set yourself free too.

DISSEMINATE JOY Making someone else happy should be the easiest thing to do. Doing things selflessly for others creates a chain of goodness in addition to making you feel good. Lend a helping hand and come to the aid of those who need assistance with practical solutions.

Sometimes a friend or someone close to you may simply want to vent or have someone to listen to them as they try to figure things out for themselves. It may not seem like much but can be an immense help for someone who needs it.

EMBRACE CHANGE When trying to effect change, work on one thing at a time rather than too many things too soon and all at the same time. Willpower is something we often overestimate and everyday life tends to get in the way of our efforts. So to make sure you have a much better chance of changing a habit or facet of your life, change one thing at a time.

START SMALL Say ‘no’ to one small thing you don’t want to do this week or forgive a person for something. Help make someone happy in some small way. Take a tiny step outside your comfort zone. When things have been standing still for a while or you hit a bump in the road, it’s easy to back down, withdraw, give in or give up. Instead, choose to say ‘yes’ because saying ‘no’ is often the easy way out!