TRAINING FOR FAILURE

It’s healthy to perceive failure positively
BY Archana Law

Scottish playwright J. M. Barrie once said that “we are all failures – at least, all the best of us are.” How true is that statement in terms of achievers and those who are average? And why is it that some skyrocket while others plummet?

Call it luck, blessings or the Midas touch, the truth is some people manage to achieve incredible success against all odds. They top sales, find ingenious ways to increase profits amid budget cuts, gain higher academic qualifications alongside family commitments and discover awesome business opportunities that others missed.

They simply make things happen…

So how do they achieve so much?

According to best-selling author John Maxwell, “only one factor separates those who consistently shine from those who don’t – their perception of and response to failure.” And yet, that quality seems difficult to acquire and most don’t even know where to start.

“The increase of suicides, alcoholics and even some forms of nervous breakdowns is evidence that many people are training for success when they should be training for failure,” wrote the late American preacher Dr. Wallace Hamilton.

So if failing is an unavoidable and inevitable part of the journey, the terrible truth is all roads to achievement lead through the land of failure. However, the good news is that anyone can learn to embrace the new definition of failure and move on.

It doesn’t matter what types of obstacles you are facing in your life right now; what matters is your life can change if you’re willing to perceive failure differently. You have the potential to overcome any problems, mistakes or misfortunes. All you have to do is learn to ‘fail forward’ – as follows.

PERSEVERE All great achievers persevere despite multiple odds to believe they’re fai­lures. Every successful person has invariably failed – yet, viewed themselves differently.

Emperor Joseph II told Austrian composer Wolfgang Mozart that his opera The Marriage of Figaro was very noisy and had too many notes. Artist Vincent van Gogh sold only one painting in his lifetime. Thomas Edison, the most prolific inventor in history, was considered unteachable as a youngster. And genius physicist Albert Einstein was told by a Munich schoolmaster that he would “never amount to much.”

Tell yourself that although you fail at something, you aren’t a failure. There’s a great difference.

STRENGTHS Focus on your strengths rather than personalise failures. As the former president of the New Jersey Devils hockey club Bob Butera noted, “what distinguishes winners from losers is that winners concentrate at all times on what they can do, not on what they can’t do.”

He added: “If a guy is a great shooter but not a great skater, we tell him to think only about the shot, the shot, the shot… never about some other guy out-skating him. The idea is to remember your successes.”

The best bet for moving forward is developing and maximising your strengths.

COURAGE People with ‘atychiphobia’ (an intense fear of failing) may avoid situations where they see potential failure in an exam, job interview, relationship or career. This self-fulfilling fear often leads to a broad range of emotional and psychological problems including shame, depression, anxiety, panic attacks or low self-esteem.

If your fears are impeding your ability to function normally, seek professional counselling, psychotherapy or medication as well as self-help practices.

CONTROL Instead of worrying about aspects of a situation that you have no power over, focus your energy on things that you can control. Plan ahead when you’re facing a challenge that might trigger your insecurities, practise mindful thinking to maintain a healthy perspective, and work on developing alternative plans to feel less anxious and more secure.

Reviews can throw up important opportunities to learn and acquire new skills.

POSITIVITY Goals can be classified based on whether you are motivated by wanting to achieve a positive outcome or avoid an adversity. Psychologists have found that establishing approach goals or positively reframing avoidance goals is beneficial to wellbeing. When you’re dreading a tough task and expect it to be difficult and unpleasant, you may unconsciously set goals around what you don’t want rather than what you want.

Look for ways to succeed. While developing an avoidance goal is a common response to a perceived failure, it’s important to keep in mind that there’s a cost for doing so.

PARADIGMS We were born into infinite possibilities full of wonder, imagination, awe and appreciation for the precious present. The difference between ‘happiness is nowhere’ and ‘happiness is now here’ has everything to do with how you view the event. Your perception is the key.

So be careful about what you look for – because you will find it!