HOW TO HEAR!

The habit of listening to understand builds trust
BY Archana Law

In today’s fast-paced environment, building strong relationships with colleagues, clients and partners is crucial for success. While many factors contribute to developing positive connections, one often overlooked imperative is how we listen to others.

Research suggests that how we listen can significantly impact how others perceive us and whether they choose to trust us or not.

Top executives from a leading manufacturer commented on how the most overlooked aspect of communication led to conflicts, distorted messages and communication gaps that cost their organisation dearly.

Their comments reflect an awakening that’s taking place in management circles where business is tied together by its systems of communication. Since this communication depends more on the spoken rather than written word, its effectiveness hinges not so much on how people talk but how they listen.

Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship – and it’s no different in a professional setting. When we listen actively and empathetically, we demonstrate that we value and respect the other person’s thoughts and opinions. This helps establish a sense of mutual trust, which is essential for collaboration and teamwork.

Studies show that the brain forms an initial impression of a person’s intent within 0.07 seconds of a conversation. By actively listening, we can convey that we’re engaged, interested and committed to understanding the other person’s perspective.

Many people have ears that hear very well… but they seldom acquire the necessary aural skills that allow the ears to be used effectively – i.e. to listen!

Survey findings at the University of Minnesota – where thousands of students and hundreds of professionals were tested, to see how much they understood and remembered from what they heard – reveal that the average person recalls only about half of what he or she heard.

Substantiated by research conducted at Florida State University and Michigan State University, data indicates that two months after listening to a talk, the average listener remembers only 25 percent of what was said.

In fact, we tend to forget from half to a third of what we learn within eight hours – more in this short interval than we do over the next six months!

Basically, the problem is that we think much faster than we talk. The average rate of speech for native speakers is between 150 and 160 words a minute while most others speak at a rate of 110-150 words a minute.

This varies on the basis of the level of fluency, education and conversational context. When we listen, we continue thinking at high speed while the spoken words come at low speed.

We listen in three ways: cognitively (attentively comprehending and integrating both explicit and implicit information); emotionally (staying calm, compassionate and managing emotional reactions including annoyance or boredom); and behaviourally (conveying interest and comprehension verbally and nonverbally).

So how do you usually listen?

One of the misconceptions around this soft skill is that there is one way to do it – you are either listening or you’re not! The truth is that we tend to default to our habitual style.

Research suggests that a task oriented listener is focussed on efficiency and shapes a conversation around the transfer of important information. Analytical listeners aim to analyse a problem from a neutral starting point. Relational listeners seek to build connections while understanding and responding to the emotions underlying a message. And critical listeners typically judge both the content of the conversation and the speaker.

Knowing your default style can help you make a conscious and deliberate choice about how to listen best.

When there is much more at stake for the organisation, it’s wise to ask one additional question when approaching a conversation: ‘Am I in an information bubble?’

Many leaders find themselves trapped in such a bubble because employees are afraid of questioning, challenging, second-guessing or disappointing them. They may spin information in a positive light to avoid tough conversations about problems in the organisation.

When leaders develop the discipline to listen purely for comprehension without an agenda, distraction or judgement, and actively seek input from all levels and ranks, it creates an atmosphere that prioritises trust over hierarchy.

The Harvard Business School’s Dr. Amy Edmonson says that in today’s world, psychological safety promotes performance as work demands more judgement, copes with uncertainty, calls for new ideas, and involves coordinating and communicating with others.

Voice remains ‘mission critical’ and psychological safety is intimately tied to people who are pursuing excellence.