THE POWER OF SELF-TALK

Inner monologue motivates people to shape identity
BY Archana Law

In the age of knowledge, ideas are the foundation of success in almost every field. You can have the greatest idea in the world but if you can’t persuade anyone else to follow that vision, your influence and impact will be greatly diminished.

Mark Antony’s famous funeral oration – “Friends, Romans, countrymen: lend me your ears…” – skilfully manipulated the crowd, and transitioned from seeming to praise Brutus and his conspirators to ultimately turning public opinion against them!

This is one famous example of how words are among the most powerful tools humans possess. They can inspire revolutions, resolve conflicts, build bridges or destroy relationships, depending upon how they’re used – not simply their meaning but also the tone, structure and context.

That’s why communication is no longer considered a soft skill among the world’s top business leaders. In the realm of persuasion, negotiation and leadership, understanding the types of words that can change minds is both an art and a science.

So where does our vocabulary begin? Long before we speak our first word, starting from the moment we’re born and even during the final stages of pregnancy, babies can hear the rhythm and melody of language (especially the mother’s voice), and recognise speech patterns, emotional tones and cadence.

A baby’s first words often reflect immediate needs or familiar objects such as mama, milk and so on. By the age of two, most children understand hundreds of words even if they only speak a few dozen. And as we continue learning new words based on our experiences, education, interests and culture, our vocabulary shapes who we are.

Inner language (pre-verbal thought) begins developing before we can actually speak, based on sensations, images and emotional states. So once we learn a word, it becomes part of our thought vocabulary – i.e. the frame through which we think, categorise and understand the world.

Self-talk is the constant internal dialogue you have with yourself as you comment on your experiences, actions, thoughts and feelings throughout the day. It can be conscious (‘I can do this’), automatic (‘I always mess up’), positive (‘It will be fine’), reflective (‘What can I learn from this’) or neutral (‘Take deep breaths’).

Like a regular companion, self-talk becomes part of our identity; it shapes our beliefs about who we are and what we’re capable of.

Words in interpersonal communication are powerful tools to build trust, bridge gaps or break connections. The way we use words influences not only the messages we convey but also the emotional impact we leave behind.

And words can shape perceptions and influence how others interpret our intentions (‘Why didn’t you finish this?’), trigger emotions (‘You’re overreacting!’), connect or divide (‘we’, ‘let’s’ and ‘together’) and accuse or blame (‘you always’ or ‘you never’).

Effective communicators are careful to use words that clarify, not confuse; encourage, not belittle; collaborate, not compete; and resolve, not escalate.

To influence and convince or change someone’s mind is to alter their perceptions, beliefs or behaviour by creating a mental and emotional shift.

American psychologist Dr. Robert Cialdini emphasises certain power words that consistently evoke stronger emotional responses, create urgency or project authority.

For instance, ‘because’ appeals to our need for rationale; ‘you’ personalises a message, making it engaging and relevant; ‘imagine’ invites the listener into a world of possibilities; ‘now’ conveys urgency; ‘proven’ boosts credibility; ‘free’ has a powerful psychological pull even if the actual value is small; and ‘new’ captures attention with the promise of something different.

Using the power of words means becoming intentional about how you speak to yourself and others. Harness that power in practical ways.

SELF-TALK Shape your inner world by using empowering self-talk with positive language that supports your growth. Reframe negative thoughts into helpful and truthful feelings.

LISTEN Build better relationships by being clear and sensitive, and balance assertiveness with empathy. Practise active listening and respond with thoughtful words, not automatic ones.

INSPIRE Frame facts within a narrative to make your message more memorable – like in storytelling. Speak with purpose and be clear about what you want others to feel, know or do. Be specific and avoid fillers or vague language.

REFLECT Prompt your self-reflection with awareness of your thoughts and feelings that drive your actions.

Words can influence how people perceive themselves, others and the world around them. When used with care, respect and intention, words can truly change minds – the right word at the right moment can be more powerful than any argument.