PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

TRYING CAN REAP REWARDS

Manilka Ediriweera urges readers to try new things without fearing failure

Imagine a life filled with ‘what ifs.’ It doesn’t sound too appealing, does it? As kids, everything was new to us and we tried things for the first time. Life was an adventure with endless opportunities to learn, experiment and explore.

Trying was a natural part of growing up – literally, from learning to walk, talk and ride a bicycle. Somewhere down the line however, the way we approach trying new things changed for many reasons.

Firstly, the fear of failure can be paralysing for an adult because so much is at risk and the stakes are higher. Secondly, and as we grow, there’s this invisible string that connects self-worth with success or failure.

We also worry about being judged, losing our status or wasting time. Embarrassment and insecurities replace childhood gusto.

While adulthood brings with it greater stakes and responsibilities, it’s easy to forget the fun of trying; and so new things get shifted to the back burner. Nevertheless, the truth is that it’s still very important.

Whether you’re a child, a teenager, an adult or a senior citizen, trying is one way in which you can step out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries, and discover new aspects about yourself and the world around you.

While doing so however, there’s a trap that we must avoid – i.e. believing that trying involves big, bold or dramatic leaps. This is a common misconception, which can be quite harmful.

Why? Because it can make you wait for the perfect moment or big opportunity, which will invariably result in inaction, instil a fear of failure, make you overlook progress that comes from small and consistent efforts, and even lead to burnout.

The truth is that trying doesn’t always involve grand gestures; it can also be small and steady steps. If you can’t come to terms with this, it means that you’re missing out on all the ways you can try on a daily basis.

Whether it’s simply about getting out of bed when you only want to go back to sleep a little longer, reading five pages of a book that’s been on your list, visiting the gym after a long day, sending that dreaded email or practising a new skill for five minutes, these efforts affirm that you are trying.

Despite taking the steps mentioned above, you may still feel like you’re not doing anything significant. But what matters is that you tried; and the fact that you tried makes the effort a reward in itself.

Another thing to remember is that trying doesn’t always mean you’ll succeed. There may be instances when you fail, and that’s okay because it’s a natural part of the process.

When you try, you learn something from the process, regardless of whether you succeed or not. What you learn could be a shortcoming, something you could have done better or understand that the thing you’re trying isn’t meant for you.

But if you don’t try, you’ll always remain where you are. So failure isn’t a tragedy; not making any effort is a far greater tragedy.

At the same time, it’s important to understand that there will be times when making an effort seems difficult. You might feel exhausted from trying and may want to take a break. That’s all right. Having a go at something doesn’t mean you need to bring your A game every single day.

Unfortunately, we’ve been hardwired to believe that if we don’t bring our A game to the table, we’ll fail. But that’s not true.

And if you don’t feel like trying today, that’s okay too. The sun will shine again tomorrow.

Yes, trying is a risk. It’s a gamble because you can’t guarantee the outcome even if you try your hardest to achieve success. Making an effort reflects your willingness to grow, embrace vulnerability, step into the unknown and learn.

Furthermore, trying also keeps life interesting by adding variety and excitement, and constantly reminding us that there is more to explore and discover.

Here are some simple yet practical ways to embrace the value of making an effort and trying to do new things.

START SMALL Break down your goals into small manageable chunks and recognise that effort will lead to meaningful progress over time.

BE PERSISTENT Don’t give up the fight to achieve your dreams the moment things get tough. Keep at it and don’t stop trying.

STAY POSITIVE Focus on what you have learnt along the way rather than solely focussing on the outcome, which could be positive or negative.

BE FORGIVING Practise self-compassion and treat yourself with kindness even when things don’t go as planned because otherwise, you will be tempted to give up completely.

SEEK SUPPORT Surround yourself with people who encourage you and celebrate your efforts.

THE JOURNEY Approach new experiences with childlike enthusiasm and allow yourself to enjoy the journey… without worrying about the outcome.

What matters is that you tried